Mail Order Mechanic
by HomeSkiletBiskit
Summary: The AC units are down in the Varia mansion. As you can guess, heat and blood-thirst don't exactly mix. So now it's Spanner to the rescue! Along with the help of the Vongola Decimo, Spanner must survive their antics the long enough to get back to his precious Mini-Mosca. No pairings. Enjoy!
1. Assignments

'Ello! HSB here kickin' the summer off with a new story! I mainly wrote this story because I was thinkin' about some of my favorite characters who don't get enough love. Automatically I thought SPANNER! He has the potential to be a hilarious persona, but not many people have taken this chance so I'm like 'why not do it myself?' Otherwise, I hope I do his character justice. Oh! Real quick, with exams and vacation I didn't have enough time to upload some of my stories that were already finished (more like in development), so this story came about while I was waiting for a taxi in Atlanta.

Disclaimer: Someone needs to make a meme for disclaimers! Something like 'I don't own it I swear' with somebody at gunpoint. I don't know but IT NEEDS TO BE DONE! I don't own any of these characters all rights to Amano Akira..yada..yada..yada.

For the mechanics!

* * *

**Assignments**

Spanner walked down the halls of the Vongola estate.

It was Tuesday, assignment day. This meant that everyone on duty would be swarming one of the guardians requesting what his or her job would be for the next week, month, year, etc. He headed towards the Vongola Decimo's office to receive his own. There weren't many others who got their assignments directly from the big boss man.

Being head mechanic definitely had its perks.

Spanner knocked on the giant oak doors leading inside the office.

"Ah! Come in."

He entered the room to greet a mountainous stack of papers.

"Hello, young Vongola." He waved.

Sawada Tsunayoshi rolled out from behind his work.

"Good morning Spanner-san," he scratched his unruly mop of hair "I presume you're here for your assignment."

Spanner gave a less than enthusiastic thumbs up. Tsuna gave a curt nod before he spun his lavishing leather chair back into the mass of files.

Though Spanner hadn't seen Tsuna as a teen for a long time, it was proof enough that he had matured judging from the fact that the four foot pile of papers hadn't come crashing down…yet.

"Spanner…Spanner…" The young boss mumbled as he rifled through one of the smaller stacks that was labeled with a Post-It 'Assignments'. After a couple minutes, his quest was complete.

"Aha! Spanner, you are to be stationed at – HIIIEEE!" You know what, he takes the maturity thing back. In those few seconds, a seemingly mature boss turned into a screaming little girl.

"I-I'm sorry Spanner-san but…" He shoved the file folder into the hands of a startled Spanner. He then turned and sped out of the room. The confused mechanic widened his eyes at the seal located on the top right corner.

"Varia…"

He hadn't had much experience with the Varia, but he knew the basics. Tsuna and the guardians fought them ten years ago and won. For others, this would seem to portray weakness, which is far from the truth. Though they lost, the assassination squad is virtually on par with the Tenth generation family. Spanner wasn't there to watch the fights, so he doesn't know firsthand, but after getting word that they defeated an entire White Spell division _and _a funeral wreath (though mock) there was little doubt. Also, Tsuna's exit added extra effect.

_Hm, _Spanner replaced the lollipop in his mouth as a determined expression set onto his face, _with my dying will, my life can be saved from the torturous wreck that will assumedly be my Varia experience. Now…_

He looks around in search of a notepad and writing utensil. He goes around Tsuna's desk to further search the area. _Oh Vongola.._Spanner inwardly pitied the Vongola Decimo. The first three things to spot on the desk were an 'Italian For Dummies' book, a first aid kit, and a class photo from high school. He also happened to notice that Kyoko Sasagawa was circled several times in permanent red marker. Even after ten years, he still couldn't find it in him to confess.

Using his complex thinking skills, Spanner quickly comes up with the use and meaning of every item. Reborn wants him to learn/perfect his Italian but he can't help fantasizing over Kyoko. When he is caught, bandages are required to fix the immediate wounds inflicted by his tutor.

Enough of that, Spanner is on a mission. After scrabbling through a couple drawers he finds a Post-It notepad and a fancy lookin' fountain pen. He stops to think for a couple moments before scratching down something and addressing it 'To Decimo' so no one will think to steal it.

He looks over it a few times, takes his information folder and leaves the room. However soon after, he runs back in.

"Almost forgot."

He returns to the note and writes down one more thing before smiling in satisfaction.

Sawada Tsunayoshi returned later that day with bumps and bruises from Reborn for running at the sight of the Varia Seal. When he sat at his desk to dress his wounds, he noticed a yellow sticky note on the bandage container. Seeing as it was written for him, he quickly picked it up to read.

**TO DECIMO,**

**I LEAVE ALL MY BELONGINGS TO MINI-MOSCA. **

**-SPANNER**

Tsuna drags his hand down his face in exasperation. No matter how smart you are, nothing can replace common sense. He turns on the desk lamp to have a better look. Under 'Mini-Mosca' he sees another hurried jumble of words.

**And Shoichi.**

Tsuna drops his head onto the desk, effectively knocking himself out cold.

xXxXxXxXxX

Subsequently following writing his portrayal of a 'dying will', Spanner goes off in search of an informant. He obsesses over getting the most knowledge of everything which inadvertently led him to helping Tsuna with his X-Burner. This especially applies to people like the Varia who are utterly insane.

Unfortunately, there wasn't anyone ignorant of this particular information. He wasn't a social butterfly like Yamamoto so co-workers didn't flock to him anyways, but this was ridiculous. One of the more sprightly underlings approached him in high-five position.

"Hey Spanner-sama, how's a goin'?"

Spanner takes this opportunity to inquire details. "Ah, hello Vince, do you know anything about the-"

"Whoooa, is that the…" Vincent steps towards to further examine the folder his superior holds.

A quick glance later, his face has turned into a white sheet and he speed walks past the head mechanic like he doesn't exist.

It was like that with every single person he came by. Once they catch sight of the Varia emblem, they avoid poor Spanner like the plague. From the guardians to the janitors it seemed to be a known taboo to steer clear of association with the Varia; even indirectly.

Following a less than pleasant run-in with Gokudera, Spanner stops to wonder. _Hm, I worked under Byakuran and he's a true psycho, but no one seems to mind _him _here. I mean…are they really that bad?_

xXxXxXxXx

Like many individuals, Spanner is affected by the life-devastating habit of procrastination. If you haven't experienced this and have achieved things in life here's how it goes: Let's use the example of washing dishes. Your parent has just asked you to clean the dishes before you go to sleep. So you're probably like 'yeah, yeah, I'll get around to it'. Two hours later, you begin to yawn. By now you have been reminded of your duties and decide to start the dish water. Say you read somewhere that hot water kills bacteria and do just so. Thinking of your safety, you put the dishes in and wait for it to cool down before reaching in. During this time you might watch TV, doodle, surf the internet, etc. Next thing you know, you wake up on your couch the next morning with an angry parent and old dirty dish water.

And thus procrastination is born!

Following a somewhat similar situation, Spanner finds himself sitting on a flight _to Italy_ with his unopened assignment in his lap. Maybe it was the dread. Maybe he was busy. Most likely he was mentally preparing. Whatever the reason, in the two days that he had to pack and organize his things, it never occurred to him to actually read about the task.

For all he knew they didn't know how to change a light bulb and requested professional services.

The mechanic quickly popped in a fresh strawberry lollipop before placing the file on the folding tray in front of his seat. He leaned back as far as he could without dissolving into the seat. Using a pen, he abruptly flipped the folder open.

Leaning forward he surveyed the single paper. To summarize, it looked like it had been dragged through both World Wars and back again. It could be more accurately described as bacon. Crispy, greasy, and shredded, with a strong aroma that will get you out of bed in the morning regardless of how much sleep you had. Just much less appetizing.

The letter was very blunt. As a matter of fact, it was barely a paragraph.

**Dear Brat,**

**It's as hot as Hell's waiting room over here. All twelve of the AC units are out. We want a mechanic. Not one of those cheap handyman guys, we want the best you've got. If you don't get here on time, I'll personally come over and skin the smiles off your sorry faces.**

**-S. S.**

After reading the letter, he took a deep breath. Spanner had only read about six sentences from them and he was already exhausted. Whoever this 'S.S' guy is seems to be really…what's a good word…nuts. So multiply this guy by a sufficient number of guardians and add in the time it takes to repair _twelve _air conditioning units to equal a miserable mechanic. *sigh* It was going to be a long mission.

He slid the paper back into the folder and took out his headphones. Quickly switching to his favorite track, he sunk back into the first-class armchair; closing his eyes in an attempt to relax. He would need as much solace as possible before this job.

_~And I think to myself…_

_What a wonderful world.~_

* * *

Ah, you gotta love Louis Armstrong.

It seemed like a song that Spanner would listen to. You know, more of a blue's fella!

By the way, I had a couple jokes in here that I hope you got. If you have any advice on how to portray Tsuna's character, because I will be using him quite a bit in this fic, let me know in the review section. I don't want to make him the typical 'HIIEEE' screaming wimp who doesn't do anything but run from Reborn. I'm still in the process of developing my own headcanon, but a few tips won't hurt.

Anyways, thanks for reading this, if you want more from muah check out the finale of An Unexpected Visitor.

Don't forget to drop a review on your way out!

This is HSB typing out~!


	2. Greetings, Earthling

'Ello! HSB here with installment two of this story. Thank you Thorn D. Cinni, Hppygrl345, and Rida-chou Leyde for reviewing! I dearly appreciate it. Remember guys, marshmallows as to Byakuran are reviews as to HomeSkiletBiskit. Capisce?

Disclaimer: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around – Ha! You just got Rick Rolled in a disclaimer! I don't own the song or the characters.

My Conscience: Hey 2009 called, they want their punch line back.

e_e Enjoy the chapter…

* * *

**Greetings, Earthling**

[Remember, don't ask Squalo a question unless it's absolutely necessary. And if that does occur, remember to put some earplugs in beforehand.]

"I understand." Spanner lazily replied to his boss' ramblings. He was currently in a limousine headed to Varia HQ and midway through his ride Tsuna called offering some 'last minute advice'. That was two hours ago.

[And _under no circumstance _must you let Belphegor touch you. Though the same may apply to Lussuria…and Levi…ah, just don't let any of them touch you.]

"I believe you reiterated that ten minutes ago Vongola." Spanner's gaze wandered to the passing countryside where he tried his best to ignore Tsuna's mother hen warnings.

[Bathe twice a day to avoid any diseases. And stay away from Xanxus' office, at all costs.]

"Tsuna, don't you think I would be required to meet with him. It _is_ his mansion."

[Well, most of the instructions are given by the second in command, Squalo. But if under some dreadful deity you are told to go to his office, slide a whiskey bottle under the door and leave. I repeat, do not enter the office, just slide whiskey under the door.]

"I'm pretty sure a whiskey bottle wouldn't be able to fit under a door," he mumbled.

In appose to his silent pleas, Tsuna kept up with his safety gibberish until Spanner stepped onto the U driveway in front of the mansion.

[If they offer you any mysterious substances, just say no.]

"Ah, I'm so sorry to cut you off young Vongola, but I seem to have arrived." He smiled and mouthed the words 'thank goodness'.

[Eek! Be careful! Remember what I taught you, bob and weave, bob and weave!]

"Bye." Click!

Spanner walked to the back of the limo to collect his luggage. There he met the driver who hurriedly pulled his suitcase and toolbox out of the trunk.

"Ah, what's the rush?" Spanner gave him a friendly smile.

The driver – who had been working for the Varia for far too long – looked upwards at the huge mansion. He gulped.

Looking back at Spanner he just shook his head and uttered, "Psycho."

Surprised, the young mechanic looked at the man with wide eyes.

While pointing to himself he asks, "Where you talking about…?"

Shakily thrusting the bags into the other's hands, the unnamed driver sprints back to the wheel where he takes off at breakneck speed causing the trunk to slam shut as he finishes the U.

Spanner stands in shock for a couple seconds, before shrugging it off and walking up the steps to the door. Byakuran's servants had done weirder.

Dusting imaginary dirt from his jumpsuit and touching up his hair curl, Spanner prepares for his very first encounter with the Varia. Unless a servant answers the door. They must have a lot of servants in a place like this. Oh well, here goes nothing. He grabs the lion? Liger? doorknocker…

Knock. Knock. Knock.

There is the sound of shuffling behind the overly huge mahogany doors. He subconsciously leans forward enough to hear a muffled voice saying, "Bel-sempai this is stupid."

"Just do it frog." _Another voice…?_

The door opens to reveal…a teenager? Well, if he isn't mistaken; the massive frog hat that looms over a green paint covered face really screams not human.

"Greetings, Earthling."

Spanner stands in momentary bewilderment. He takes a moment to try and figure out the meaning behind such an act. Was he being _Punked_? He didn't know they did that in the mafia. Or maybe it was something more psychological. He looked closer at the – he quickly glances at their chest – boy, judging from the lifeless eyes it could be drugs. But he would have to further inspect to be sure. If by any chance it is an illegal substance, he would just have to play along for the sake of his well-being. Assassins and drugs don't mix like that.

"Hello, little alien." When he spoke, it was in a supervising fashion; like he was trying his best not to upset a temperamental child. He even bent down for extra effect.

For a second, the boy just stared at him as if _he_ were the crazy one.

"Bel-sempaaaiii, we got a wild one."

"Ah?"

The previous voice comes back again from inside."Ushishi~, Let him inside, frog."

Fran steps aside, allowing the analyzing mechanic to enter.

What he sees upon entrance is a grand opening hall. To his right, there is a semi spiral staircase against the wall with a red carpet running down the center giving it a Renaissance feel. The floor was white marble infused with touches of black and grey. Though the stairs and a doorway that branches off hint that the rest of the flooring was hardwood. To his right, he saw a very formal seating area that included a couple couches and a coffee table.

Actually, now that he has had a closer look, it isn't all that grand. It's large, but poorly decorated. There are no pictures the exception being a couple scenery portraits that looked as if they were stolen from a 1960s funeral home. And Spanner was no interior designer, but the color scheme seemed a bit off. Navy blue couches, a green rug, red curtains, a black coat rack, and a couple yellow flowers to accent it all.

In the mechanic's eyes the area seemed hurriedly put together in order to keep guests from invading their personal space. Fitting.

There was an underdressed male figure draped across the closest couch. Reckoning he would get more information from the alien boy's 'sempai' he walked towards it. The man had on nothing but underwear and his eyes were completely covered by thick blonde bangs adorned with a tiara.

_Does everyone here dress like drug addicts? Maybe Tsuna was right about those mysterious substances…Or maybe…_

"Did you guys lose a bet?"

"Huh?" The smile that was previously on the man's face disappeared instantly.

The emotionless 'frog' joined them after shutting the huge double doors. "Ohh, Bel-sempai your unprincelyness makes it look like you lost a bet, too."

"Ushishi~ What are you talking about? Aren't you in awe of me peasant?" He used his arms to gesture towards his majestic nudity.

"Ah.." Spanner began to feel really uncomfortable with this situation. He wasn't exactly into the male species.

The alien impersonator pointed towards the flabbergasted mechanic. "See, he is at a loss of words for your disturbing appearance."

He grinned. "Ushishishi~, Peasants should pay for the chance to see the prince's priceless jewels."

"Fake prince-sempai, I'm sure no one would pay to see those cheap rocks."

A tick mark appeared in the area above where the 'prince's' eyes would be.

Spanner slowly stepped towards the far door. By the looks of it, blondie was reaching for some knives. He noticed some wires attached to the ends as he drew them out. _Almost forgot these are assassins…how does that happen?_

Stab. Stab.

The alien-frog teenager closed his eyes in bliss. "Oh yes, keep 'em coming. I'm getting a bit of a breeze."

Bel growled and pounced across the couch onto his unsuspecting kouhai.

Rather than watch a WWE match break out, Spanner takes this opportunity to dip into door he had been skulking in the direction of for the past few minutes. In contrast to the previous room, this one was way more homely. For one, it didn't look like the Queen's residential architect played a cruel joke. The space looked to be that of a typical modern living room; though the furniture in it probably cost more than his entire flat.

He scanned the room in search of 'druggies'. Fortunately he found it empty save for someone who appeared to be topless lounging on a definitely not from Ikea couch. Their hair was whitish-silver and as long as four feet. Presuming it was a woman he approached 'her'.

Since Lambo had grown up, he tended to have an influence over the ladies as you may know. And well…it kind of rubbed off on some of the fellas. Even someone like Spanner who would rather spend the day with a robot(no shade on Mini-Mosca).So now all of the Vongola men have a little inner flirt in them.

On a rare occasion such as this where he spots a lonely damsel in heat(in more ways than one ;D), Spanner's just happened to come out.

He set his luggage down and changed his lollipop before sauntering over to the lovely lady. Leaning down to drape an arm across their shoulder he addressed her.

"Hello~ m'lady and must I say that you are a little ray of –"

Smack!

No sooner did Spanner's arm settle onto their shoulder that it was twisted behind his back and used to pull him over the couch and smash his face into the glass coffee table.

"Voi! If you call me a woman again, you'll be a one arm short!"

"Hiswurbyplzdwtkllmehijsmekaniss."

"What!" The _man _lifted his face off of the table.

"I said, 'I'm sorry, I'm just a mechanic.'" He slowly turned his possibly fractured skull to properly view his attacker. His hair was inconceivably long and a whitish-silver. Very lady-like. He looked into his silver eyes knowing that this man was familiar.

"Hey, aren't you.."

Smack! His face was reacquainted with the table top.

He heard the sound of a blade being whipped out. "Superbi Squalo, the Second Sword Emperor!"

_The very loud sword emperor…_

"State your name and business!"

"Cwudyouwiftmeup?" He asked matter-of-factly with one finger in the air.

He was lifted off of the table and yelled at once again. "What!"

"I said – nevermind, I'm Spanner." He smiled.

Squalo glared down at him.

"…the mechanic." He sighed. _So much for proper greetings…what happened to civility? Oh yeah, sweltering assassins happened._

"So you're the mechanic, 'bout time you got here." Squalo grumbled as stabbed his sword into the table before reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a map with twelve little numbers circled over little black boxes here and there. He pointed to one of them. "Here are the AC units."

"Not to intrude but could you release me now? You know fingers going numb and all." He kept it casual like his shoulder wasn't being dislocated from its socket.

"Oh."

He let go of him a little more forcefully than necessary, throwing him onto the ground.

"Thank you."

"Tch. As I was saying, these little black boxes are the air conditioners. Each of them are numbered in the order that you should fix them –"

"Why is there an order?"

Smack!

Thankfully, Spanner's arm didn't suffer any abuse; though having Squalo backhand his cranium with his titanium hand wasn't very pleasant either.

"There's an order because our boss has been acting…odd, and we need to get the areas he visits most often cooled down."

"Okedoke."

"Now get to it!"

Spanner stood up rolling up the map and putting it under his armpit as he collected his bags. He is nearly back out in the grand hall to go up the stairs when he notices something on the map.

He turns around. "Hey Squalo, why is your room second on this list?"

The swordsman's face goes beet red before he launches the nearest pillow fast enough to break the sound barrier at Spanner's face.

* * *

I was originally going to extend this chapter further, but I didn't want to keep y'all precious people waiting any longer.

Now because this is from a newcomer's view, I tried to be more descriptive. Yet, I've realized I probably need to do this more in regular stories soooo gonna work on that!

Took waaaay longer than necessary to get this up so I apologize; but I do have a convention to go to this weekend so chapter three might not get out next week as planned. Nonetheless I will guarantee that my all will be put in to make it not so.

Did that make sense? No? Perfect.

Again before I go, thank you so much for the feedback, with your reviews and a cup of joe, I'm typing these chapters faster than Usain Bolt!

My Conscience: Clearly not fast enough…

^^^ Oh dear, I hope this doesn't become a regular thing.

Soooo, that's all I have for you today, sorry for the long outro. See ya next week! (hopefully)

Don't forget to drop a review on your way out!

This is HSB typing out~


	3. Unit 1: The Boss?

**'Ello! HSB here back for the third time! A useless update for ya, I have a Cartoon Network mug from CNN and it's awesome. By the way, have you ever tried pineapple coconut sparkling water, it's soooo good. *gulp***

**Disclaimer: Hmmm, no I'm sorry, Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is out of my budget range. So if you want the owner you'll have to search out Ms. Amano Akira.**

**The heat gets to you man.**

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**AC Unit 1: The Boss?**

Spanner looked at the imposing wood in front of him. Yes, the door to Xanxus' office was an impressive one. Beautifully decorated with plenty of dents and boot impressions; presumably Squalo's. And speaking of the swordsman, delicate strands of silver hair littered the floor just enough to be fashionable. Not to mention the numerous liquor stains. He just figured that the leader of this unruly group would be just as classy as the rest.

He took a second to look around him. Long vintage hallways branched off in both directions which then led to even more hallways. It was a wonder he didn't get lost, though the classical music probably played a larger role. To answer the unasked question, for some odd reason the further he went into the castle the louder the music became. And because of an even odder reason, Spanner believed that it would lead to the boss of the assassination squad. Pretty good video game plot, ne?

Yet, here he was at the right location. Or at least he thought it was. In a place like this, actions speak louder than words, and right now the bullet in the wall behind him was harmonizing pretty well with his instincts. Wait, wouldn't that make it a picture of a view that speaks louder than words? Again, mechanic brain is getting off track.

The point is, this looked to be Xanxus' office and he wasn't taking Tsuna's wack advice. He was going to stomp in there and fix the air conditioning like a man! Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Maintenance. May I come in?" _Sho says that I should stop hanging around robots, apparently I sometimes talk like one. Hmp, like that's going to happen._

When there was no response, Spanner cracked the door open and peeked in. He once-overed the office before deeming it empty and safe to enter. In his scan, he also happened to notice an old record player in the corner playing the classical music. Is that an Antonio Vivaldi original? Odd. Shutting the door behind him, (Because getting shot in the back is a lame way to die.) he began his search. All he needed was to find the entrance to the air vent.

According to the plans Squalo gave him, the AC in the office is connected to their boss' bedroom through one long metal vent. Perfect. Send the claustrophobic guy into a thirty foot aluminum deathtrap with a toolbox and a busted air unit.

Spanner searched the upper walls of the lounge-like office; and must he say, the maids must've boycotted the place. To be frank, every kind of drink, weapon, glass, haircare product, and bodily fluid found its way to those walls. It smelled clean though. That is if you consider tequila and burning patience a pleasant aroma. Okay, enough dogging on the office. In the back right corner of the room there was a three column filing cabinet, and above it, the dusty air vent leading to his nightmares.

"Ah, well. Gotta do what I gotta do." _Even if that requires rubbing Byakuran's feet while he plans invasions. Again, I must say that I am eternally grateful that the Vongola adopted me._

He dried his perspiring hands on his jumpsuit before getting a firm grip on the edge of the filing cabinet. He hoisted himself halfway up and wallowed around like a baby sea lion for a bit. Hooking his toolbox onto his shoe, in an incredible display of flexibility, he pivoted his leg up and around to his left side and set it down. Once he finished dragging himself up, he began the quick and easy process of taking the cover off the vent.

He peered into the heated darkness. Okay, quick recap on the situation. He is in a castle full of psychotic bloodthirsty assassins. It is an average of ninety degrees Fahrenheit at any given moment. He is alone; and he's about to crawl into an extremely tiny dark hole that just happens to be dangerously close to the living quarters of the boss of said psychotic bloodthirsty assassins. Did I mention that Spanner's claustrophobic?

"Love my job." Saying his last words, Spanner lunges into the air vent, toolbox first. Once he is completely inside, he turns on his flashlight to illuminate his path. As expected, it's one long dusty tunnel, no turn offs or drops whatsoever, making his job easier.

They say that when someone is uncomfortable or nervous, they tend to remember little things of their past. Even if it is as insignificant as what shoes a friend usually wore to school. You might compare it to a mild 'life flashing before my eyes' moment. Well, right now, Spanner is having one of those moments.

You see, back when Spanner was new to the Millefiore and Byakuran was still relatively sane, his boss used to sing this song. It had a bouncy melody that he would just sing around headquarters when he had nothing else to do. And it just _had _to revolve around marshmallows. It went a little something like this:

'Marsh~mallows are a way of life, they're fluffy and white; yes, they're so nice. Marsh~mallows don't need to breathe, or have to eat; yes, they're so sweet.'

After the initial aggravation wore out, it happened to grow on Spanner. So, that's how he found himself singing the 'marshmallow song' in the air ducts of Xanxus' living quarters as he fixed the AC.

~Twenty Minutes Later ~

One hand at a time, Spanner emerges from the air vent completely covered in a thin layer of dust. That air conditioner sure is a strong one. As soon as it was fixed, it nearly blew Spanner out of the tunnel. Fortunately, the magnetic properties of his toolbox saved him from the mighty gust of wind. Still, the hundreds of dust bunnies didn't stand a chance and found a home on Spanner's jumpsuit.

Spanner looked out to survey the office, while he still had a good viewpoint from the top of the filing cabinets. The record player was still playing renowned composers, and it still smelled like tequila and burning patience. Wait, no, it kind of smells like something else is burning. Nope, there's no smoke to be seen. But it smells…it smells like a flame. An angry flame.

Oh no.

Spanner's face went blank as his line of vision steered over to the center of the room. He let out a slow breath as he caught sight of a deep maroon robe clothed man sitting in the office chair. He blinked twice as he noticed the ever-present scar lining the side of the man's face. And he resigned himself to defeat when two scarlet eyes turned their attention to the dusty mechanic sitting on top of his filing cabinet.

Deciding that it would be better to state his business, as neglect of this nearly cost his arm last time, he sought to dismiss himself. "Oh, hey, I'm the mechanic, and uh, I just fixed the air conditioning so it should be cooling down in here…" The man continued to bore his eyes into the very soul of Spanner. "So, um, I'll be on my way now."

"Sit."

"Pardon."

"Sit." He said it a bit more firmly this time as he gestured to the chair opposite his desk.

Not one to risk his life on being stubborn, Spanner complied. Trying to make as least noise possible, he slid off of the filing cabinet and shuffled over to the chair. Hesitating about the dust that is without a doubt on his bottom, he slowly took a seat. Both hands grasping the toolbox that is settled on his lap, he put on his most polite half-smile.

The only thing running through his mind as Xanxus poured two glasses of expensive wine, and set one before him is: _Where are the guns? He is going to shoot me, and I don't know when or how it will happen. Please, just show me where the guns are. I will surrender to my end in peace if I can just take a look at those guns before they kill me._

Ignoring the mental breakdown occurring less than three feet away from him, Xanxus slides one of glasses full of wine over to his visitor. Nonchalantly crossing his legs and taking a sip of wine he asks, "How are you?"

Panic dances in the usually laidback green eyes of Spanner. Silently, he curses his grandfather for ever convincing him to leave England and getting involved in the Italian Mafia in the first place. The most terrifying thing to happen is to be asked a question. Nevertheless, he must calm down. He could be overreacting. Yes, Tsuna's talk has gotten him all nervous for no reason. He chokes out, "I'm fine."

"Have you been enjoying Italy?"

Unable to control his honest opinions he lets a potentially dangerous comment slip, "It's nice and all, but I'd prefer Japan over it any day. Their advancement in robotics technology is uh, sorry." He catches the irritated look that flashes into Xanxus' surprisingly cool demeanor when he mentions Japan.

"That is very true. Thank you for telling me your opinions."

"Oh, you're welcome…?"

"Is there anything that you need to make your stay more comfortable?"

He doesn't fail to note that Xanxus sounds like a hotel receptionist. Trading his panic for extreme discomfort, Spanner remembers an important factor about his stay. He takes a sip of the wine to be polite before asking, "Well, to be honest, I'm not familiar with my sleeping arrangements."

"Ah yes…" Spanner feels a breeze whisk by before Xanxus can finish his statement. He intently watches as something within Xanxus shifts out of place, or rather, back into place. The tranquil presence seeps from his eyes and is replaced with something that is more of an unquestionable rage and silent condescension to all who approach him. When he returns his next statement, it drips of superiority. "Go ask the Gaylord. Now get out of my sight." Slightly dumbfounded Spanner can't help but wonder, "Ah, come again?" As the room got cooler, the boss' temper steadily increased, all traces of regality gone. "Get out, trash."

Shocked and more than a little disturbed, Spanner heeds the imminent warning and hastily exits the room. He bravely has a glimpse back into the room before he shuts the door. What he sees puts him at somewhat peace. The boss of the assassination squad sat leaning back, feet kicked up on the desk, and polishing his two X-Guns.

* * *

**To be clear, I'm not a mechanic! Yes, I know that AC units are usually outside and they're one big huge bulky machine. But that's so boring! So, I made them different and awesome.**

**I also want to clarify that the reason Spanner was so worried about seeing the guns, is my depiction of pure unadulterated paranoia. So, no, he is not obsessed with guns and he does not have an irrational fear of them. Although that would be hilarious!**

**Thank you so much to all who favorited and followed this story. I only have two chapters (now three) and so much attention. I'm blushing xD! Well, hopefully this will satiate all y'all wonderful readers until the next update.**

**A quick thanks again to Thorn D. Cinni for her continued support.**

**Don't forget to drop a review on your way out!**

**Until next time, Ciao~!**


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